I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
