Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
