I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
