have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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