I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
