dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
