Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
