garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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