i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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