therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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