I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
