I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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