We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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