so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you win again, gameday.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
