Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just high enough for therapy.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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