What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
