this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
