you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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