I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there