Texts From Last Night

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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.

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  (551): 1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one. http://tfl.nu/vtrz
  Replies (51) Good night (6035) Bad night (709)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.

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  (954): I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about. http://tfl.nu/gd5e
  Replies (43) Good night (1206) Bad night (9090)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.

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  (402): Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier. http://tfl.nu/f40g
  Replies (16) Good night (2920) Bad night (1529)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had

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  (347): i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had http://tfl.nu/siqb
  Replies (11) Good night (3052) Bad night (1532)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar

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  (781): You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar http://tfl.nu/4b1n
  Replies (6) Good night (2193) Bad night (944)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off

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  (402): he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off http://tfl.nu/4yxi
  Replies (5) Good night (2796) Bad night (891)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up

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  (540): Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up http://tfl.nu/xh5q
  Replies (18) Good night (1035) Bad night (2636)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.

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  (435): Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control. http://tfl.nu/z6u1
  Replies (2) Good night (896) Bad night (1181)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow

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  (602): He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow http://tfl.nu/0y69
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (490)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".

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  (920): You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died". http://tfl.nu/180h
  Replies (4) Good night (871) Bad night (269)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?

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  (902): Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"? http://tfl.nu/mn11
  Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (301)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"

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  (954): direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey" http://tfl.nu/8vb9
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (213)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"

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  (651): ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering" http://tfl.nu/5vg0
  Replies (0) Good night (326) Bad night (443)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Or a taco

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  (978): I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :( (1-978): I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars (978): Or a taco http://tfl.nu/jd6f
  Replies (6) Good night (565) Bad night (163)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.

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  (817): I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department. http://tfl.nu/0vx5
  Replies (0) Good night (257) Bad night (419)

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