are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on