She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
