dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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