I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
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Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises