hotel room ftw
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I sprained my soul last night
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'