That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
