I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
