dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
