I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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