i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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