after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just blew my weed a kiss
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
