Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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