He told me they were just razor bumps!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
