This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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