It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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