Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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