good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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