This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
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