Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
