I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
