Acid is not a monday night drug
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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