so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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