if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
