handjob tips. give me some.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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