I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize