Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
