i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
