Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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