We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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