I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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