seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
do herpes really smell.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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