Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
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It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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