Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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