Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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