I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
