My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
