the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
