My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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