i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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