He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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