So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
40s are totally the cure
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
