Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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