gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
