bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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