As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
