clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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