What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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