i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
