It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize