I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my sisters under your porch take her home
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
