so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
