Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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